"My Fishing Adventure"
was created especially for
Jim "Never Caught a Fish" Hefferman
At the age of 50
With Love From
The Handicaps From Second Shift
December 25, 2002
It had been a long day, and Jim Hefferman was ready to hit the sack. As usual, he was looking forward to his favorite bedtime activity - reading his fishing catalog.
Although he rarely caught anything, Jim was hooked on fishing. If he could only learn to land the big ones at Cape Cod!
Certainly Jim, at the ripe old age of 50, was no longer a child. However, Ed, George and Tracy suspected that deep down, he would always be a kid at heart when it came to fishing.
Fortunately for Jim, nobody knew Bobber Bear was his hero! He carried his bear with him on every fishing trip.
Being a real snoozer, Jim began to doze off. He started to dream he had become Bobber Bear.
This was the most exciting dream he had ever had in his whole life! Bill, his pal, was also transformed into a bear.
Now, to most of us, being transformed into a bear might be cause for a little concern. But Jim was excited about it!
After all, bears, unlike himself, often catch fish. Not wanting to waste the opportunity, Jim and Bill hurriedly entered the local fishing tournament. Maybe this time they would win...something!
Jim and Bill checked out sinkers, flies, hooks, floats and anything else they might need for the fishing contest at The Best Little Lure House. They also found time to pick up a few munchies and some cold beverages.
Jim didn't have enough pocket change to buy the new boat he admire You'd think anything was possible in a dream!
Next, Jim and Bill "The Reel Fisherman" decided a visit to a fish aquarium would be beneficial. Last year, after being skunked at the tournament, Jim had bought a rater large fish to fool Ed, George and Tracy.
Embarrassingly, though, the fish he had purchased was not even local to the area. Jim's credibility as a fishing wizard went right down the drain!
Before they knew it, they were ar their favorite fishing hole, Cape Cod. Jim and Bill opened their cold beverages and started some serious fishing.
As usual, the bites were incredible! Unfortunately, only the mosquitos and flies enjoyed the action.
Several hours (and beverages) later, Jim and Bill were getting discouraged. Despite being fishing bears, they still weren't catching any fish!
"Phew, it sure seems hot today," exclaimed Jim. "I'm sure I've had too much sun!" He opened yet another beverage.
After trying all their other lures, they decided to switch to worms. Worms wiggled so much, and because Jim was also a klutz, he often hooked himself, not the worm. Mercifully Bill "The Reel Fisherman" agreed to bait his hook.
"We've got to catch something," they both agreed. "Otherwise, we'll have to listen to all the ridicule from Ed, George and Tracy again this year.
Jim prided himself on being a skilled angler. There was nothing he couldn't do with a rod and line.
However, today his coordination seemed to be off. This was just more proof he had already had too much ---- sun!
After losing more than a few worms, sinkers and hooks, Jim was finally successful.
"Looks like a fish, only smaller!" quipped Bill.
"Well, at least I caught something that was alive!" retorted Jim. "I can't wait to show Ed, George and Tracy the 20-pound boot you hooked."
Jim and Bill had been fishing for hours and had only caught that one small fish . "I can't believe this!" complained Jim. "I thought bears always caught lots of fish!"
"Why don't you just wind in your line, and let's eat our lunch?" Bill asked. "Then we can go home."
"I can't now," grumbled Jim, "I think I'm snagged again."
Suddenly, there was a big jerk on the end of Jim's line. No... it wasn't Bill.
"LOOK!" Jim shouted, as he grabbed his rod.
Now Jim and Bill knew the sun must really be affecting them. They imagined this fish was so-o-o big that it started pulling their boat!
Of course, never having caught a big fish before, they thought it wasn't hard for their imaginations to play such a trick on them. However, they were going so fast, Bill had to hold on to keep from flying out of the boat along with everything else.
As the story goes, the boat went faster and faster. Furthermore, it was claimed that fisherman came from miles around to witness this incredible event.
Jim clearly remembered Ed, George and Tracy cheering (or was it jeering?) from the shore. I'm going to catch this fish and win the trophy even if it takes me all night!" declared a determined Jim.
To everyone's surprise, especially Ed, George and Tracy, Jim somehow managed to land the fish. Even more unbelievable, he was proclaimed the winner of the tournament.
"Jim! Wake up!" said Bill, shaking Jim out of his dream. "I just entered us in the fishing tournament. Let's go now, or we'll be late!"
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